Honesty washed down with a bottle of red

They preach honesty. They talk about its virtue and its healing qualities. They forget to tell you about the disconnect between honesty and those that are unprepared for it. Or the dangers of telling truths to psychopaths on the down low. You know, those girls that will call your mother and tell her how much she loves you and all along your mother thought you liked boys. Yes.

Have you ever told a truth to a drunkard or to a liar? Those are easy truths. They are facts of which both of you are aware (varying degrees granted). If a drunk does not know he’s drunk, he’s a liar. If a liar is blind to his fibs then he is off his meds. Like god from Nurse Jackie. You know, the crazy guy who yells insults at everyone except the English lady? Side note – Nurse Jackie is an expert liar and a great example of how BAD honesty is. Coming back to my point, the hard truths are the kind that drive a sober man to a bottle.

Like telling someone you love them and they aren’t ready to hear it? -or even more cringe worthy, they aren’t ready to love you. The salvation in the former is that X may come around one day. With the latter, you are highly likely to fall into a box labelled “here lie the remains of hearts suffering from unrequited love”. Don’t worry though, it’s happy hour every hour in that box, and you shan’t be short of company. The only trouble is that your sad story will never be the saddest or most embarrassing so buck up and guzzle away.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t go around telling people you love them or that you think about them all the time. If, however, you insist on doing such silly things, carry a bottle of wine with you. I recommend already ingested-it hurts less when you hear the crickets. If you hear the crickets at all over the thoughts of more wine that the tipsy voices in your head will inspire. That way when your advances are batted away with the skill of a test cricketer in his prime, guess what? Yup, you can have more wine.

It’s quarter to weekend though so let’s not have a bottle today.

The Empress

Xx

 

 

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